Ten years ago, at this precise moment, as I type this I was pleading and praying with God for just some time to know my son face-to-face. I kept my stare on his little body, lifeless as the doctor and nurse did their best to try and bring him back. My nurse would later share that they were a moment away from calling it when Maxson kicked her arm, and his heart started again. I am just as sure that Jesus extended His grace here in this moment as I am that it is morning now. From here we spent a couple precious hours surrounded by family and friends. When it was time for Max to go I knew. Looking back I am often amazed that I didn't go into despair but that in that moment I was provided with an inner strength, a peace and strength not of my own. His spirit went to be with Jesus in my arms. Reading this you may find it hard to see the joy in these lines, you may not be able to understand the peace and the love that was there. It was. A gift in my life that I hold with great value. Memories that I hold that make 10 years ago as though it could have been one year ago.
I have occasionally received emails from people who read this blog, I really appreciate each one. To see the ripple effects of this tiny little baby's life gives life so much beauty.
For those who only know our family through this blog here is a little where we are and who we are today :)
We brought Sarah home!! A little over three years ago we were able to make it happen and bring our daughter home. She is an absolute joy and I feel incredibly grateful God has allowed us to be her parents. Sarah has the biggest heart and loves so well, she steals the heart's of everyone she meets.
Will, our little gift in the waiting for Sarah, he brings so much laughter to our home. His comedic timing for four is pretty great. He is quiet and reserved around most but at home with his family he hams it up!
Eli, I think much of the trials we have walked through have really shaped Eli into who he is. He is a very deep thinker and so very sensitive to those around him. He will acknowledge and share with me insights that an 8 year old shouldn't quite grasp. From those less fortunate, or to the boy needing a friend he sees it and doesn't even flinch to step in. Maxson is as real to him as any brother could be, and Eli has had his own form of grieving the big brother he knows he has. I see the hard parts of life, the tough stuff, these are the roads that we all will ourselves on and we can find true growth if we allow God to work. "For the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him." Romans 10:12
Dustin and I are going strong, is our marriage perfect, haha, it's been through some fires, what we have come through has made our marriage strong. It is so amazingly sweet to do life with this guy, I do feel like I won the lotteries of the lotteries with him.
Okay no more cheese, today I am busy raising up some little people in hopes to have them adult well and find their own relationship with Jesus. We homeschool our kids, which whatever your thoughts may be on this choice, trust me when I share it's best for us! I am pushing forward in my walk with Christ. Far from perfect, so much that His grace will always bring me to tears. For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God. Ephesians 2:8
Dustin started a business some years ago now and that keeps him more than busy at times. We belong to a small, humble little church family full of kids and young families just trying to navigate the times. I feel blessed to have made so many strong friendships over the years since Maxson, although they didn't know us during the season of losing Max they are all so kind and supportive of his place in our family. And each friend that was there that day we are still just as close, I find so much comfort in their own personal accounts of that day and I treasure their memories. To everyone who has shared this road through this blog thank you for caring. I pray that Maxson's life will give you good reason to search out your own path to Christ. He is faithful, you just have to search for Him. Start in His word, and pray.
Thank you God and thank you sweet Maxson until we meet again! God bless. Trish