Golden Birthday

Wow! Five years, it doesn't seem possible, the memory of kissing him and holding him is as near to my mind as yesterday. I tried so hard that day to take in as much as possible and God has truly honored that, I have so many memories from one single day than I do from months.

Hindsight is 20/20. Sitting here today on the 5th year since I felt the sharpest slice of my heart, I can truly say I wouldn't trade it for the world. All of the pain and the months of grief, and even what I carry today is worth more than gold and silver.

Maxson, your sweet stop in our hearts has left fruit that continues to grow... How I view my Father, how I view your brother, how I view my salvation, and how I view this life have all been turned up because of YOU! My personal joy I feel in the little things would never be what it is without you!

We prayed so hard those days before you were born, for you to be healed, or to stay with us, we wanted so badly to not have to walk the road of losing you. Now, I stand here five years later and can plainly see all the good you left us with and I am overwhelmed with gratefulness.

We sang, very loudly, happy birthday to you this evening and no tears clouded my eyes, no sharp pains, just that overwhelming feeling of gratefulness.

We know you stand with our Father and we know we will see you again, and NOW we know how glorious God's plan was for you.

You have a little brother who talks about you a lot, and I know already loves his big brother.

Thank you for your moments here I hope that golden birthday in Heaven resounds all of our thankfulness for you.

Love you,

A friend recently shared this "Whoever does not know the austere of blessedness of waiting- that is, of hopefully doing without- will never experience the full blessing of fulfillment." This has rang so very true, especially lately with our adoption travel date being put off; not knowing when or if we will bring Sarah home. This next year we will continue to pray and fight for Sarah and other orphans, with the hope of being through to the side of fulfillment before Christmas next year. So please when you think of Maxson today or whenever he may come to mind please add a little prayer for Sarah.

with love,


Let Us NOT

It has been way too long for an update...I have thought about updating and then often I become overwhelmed with where we are, stuck. We are amongst many, many other families that are stuck in a broken international adoption system. The blame for this could go so many directions. I never see the benefit of focusing on whose to blame, rather I feel it is SO SO urgent to share what we feel is key to keeping our sweet girl and countless others alive.

To clear up questions or at least try to, international adoption has many steps, we are moving along in the last step with the US embassy investigating our little girl's orphan status. We have recently learned though that the DGM, the Congolese immigration branch of ministry, is suspending exit letters. Basically, after the US clears her status and we have her visa, we still cannot take her out of the country until this is lifted. They are saying up to 12 months. This is a huge blow. I have shed tears for all the moments  I will miss with Sarah because of this, I have shed tears for her having to live in a place where food and clean water is NOT a guarantee.

NOW, what I don't want to do is give up! I MUST fight to keep her healthy and alive.

It's so easy to turn or quit reading, but please know by doing so we are allowing children to die! I know this may sound like I am being melodramatic, but I promise this is real! Our dollars make the difference in children living or dying. Just last week in the Congo 75% children from an orphanage died do to unclean drinking water. Dysentery shot through this orphanage and in a matter of days killed most of them. It costs around $100 for a filter that lasts 6 months.

Please please please let us NOT; get annoyed, turn away, or pretend it's not our problem!!! You can say, 'well I have my causes I support, and this isn't my cause'. MAN, if we all just gave a little, if we all saw this as a little bit of our cause, we could change the direction of hundreds of lives.

We are going to be doing what we can to raise support to feed three orphanages that DESPERATELY need support. One of these orphanages is where our daughter is. Some other mom's who are adopting from Congo have banned together and we hope to raise $5,000 by Orphan Sunday, this coming Sunday! We have made the connections to make sure these orphanages will receive the food, and I will share pictures of that happening. This money will go so far!! There was already an anonymous matching donation of $1,200, that has been met and there has been another anonymous donation of $500 that will be given to match. If you click on the button to donate your donation will be matched plus it is tax deductible.

I can NOT express enough what good these funds will do! I will be sharing pictures of the children receiving the food. I know we plan to use it for food, but we may also use it for water filters and more beds.

Feed their Tummies

with love,


Last Trimester

I would compare this step to be a bit like the last trimester of pregnancy. Where at times I am so uncomfortable waiting that I have to remind myself to breath. Where I still can't say this is really happening but my growing stomach, or in this instance the growing list of completed steps. Nesting moments come pouring down on me and there isn't enough I could do to feel totally prepared. The last leg of this adoption is so parallel to that last trimester.

I feel in a way like I am going to be a first time mom, mainly because she is a girl and unfortunately spent her first years not in my arms.

We are both so excited but fully understand this is a major game changer and we are diligently praying God's grace over us now and what's to come.

I cannot tell you how cute Eli is speaking about his baby sister. How he is going to protect her, share with her, and play with her. Hmmm he has no clue and probably a good thing!

This summer we will be preparing our home for our sweet little african princess. We really need to try and scrape up, save up, and come up with the $8,000-9,000 needed to travel. This part is so tricky as we committed to pay back our adoption loan in a year :/ So if we need anything maybe some prayers that my ideas for fundraising will come through! That between the yard sale, the canvas sale, and the shear determination to have it all just in time, we will!!

Oh and just to finish a little update with where exactly we are...drum roll...as of June 2nd, our little girl is ours in the Congo, we could move there and be her parents. Now it is in the hands of the US and that takes 3-6months...we have just a bit of paperwork to get to this part and plan to very soon! So our hope is that by October we will be on a plane to Africa!! We already are closing in on a year since we started and it will be surreal when we are home. Thank you for all your prayers and support!

with love,


Miles of Separation

We finally got word about the orphanage our little one is at and we also received an updated picture of her.

Good news? Yes and no.

She is very very thin and has recently been very ill. The orphanage she is at is very poor and the children have little food and no nets (malaria) or beds. 

She sleeps on a cold, wet dirt floor! My heart breaks having to type that. What can I do? I desperately want to go and rescue her, I want to take away any hunger pains, I want to kiss her and hold her close. 

These miles of separation could not be more harsh today! 

We do have a true advocate on the ground in Kinshasa right now. She has made numerous trips over and has truly been a God send to so many orphans. She leaves her family behind and takes the journey over to do what she can to make life better for these sweet children. She has had her share of loss, losing several children she was waiting to adopt. It is so senseless that these babies are dying when we have every opportunity to help. Children shouldn't die of hunger. They shouldn't die of malaria. 

We can help her! 

I am asking you please! please! Help us raise support to buy beds, nets, and other life saving items for these children!!

Any amount will go directly to aid these sweet children. I am asking not just for my little one who needs a bed and nourishment so badly but all the little ones who don't have a voice. Lets do what we can!

Use the link above and do what you can. Five, ten, twenty, or more, whatever you give is going to save the lives of the most innocent. 

Above is the most recent picture she is so thin.

Above is our referral picture.

I have signed a contract not to use her face, but I pray and my hope is to show you her beautiful face in our arms soon!! 



I would have posted we have a referral a while back but after losing our first I feel like it is such a delicate hope. We can't help ourselves to fall in love with this sweet little girl. We can't help but imagine her in our family. We can't help but to imagine loving on her and enjoying the blessing of a little girl. Truth is we go there a lot, and it is but a delicate hope that she is indeed ours!

The hope we do rest in is that God is faithful and this journey even thus far has produced so much good. We have been transformed to have different goals, dreams, and desires. In no way am I wanting to guilt others who are on different roads, this is just our path.  God has allowed this journey to shape us into people who find great excitement and joy in plans we would not have thought of by our own accord.

What was once just a way to grow our family has changed our hearts into how do we change the world. And by changing the world I mean loving in any way possible to those who need love the most.

So I am excited to say we have hope of bringing a sweet little girl home. Timeline is so up in the air with immigration changes. Please pray for our little girl and all orphans who don't have a voice.

 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28