Happy 2nd Birthday Maxson!

Not easier. I have wanted to post before this day so I could share in all the ways Eli has brought so much joy back into our lives but today will probably not be the day I feel like sharing that. I am sad.

A two year old that fact alone just hurts. Many times since Eli has been born I have had teary eyed moments longing or feeling guilty about not sharing in the same experiences with Max. My boy Max still has his own unique part of my heart that longs wants and desires Max. But that is why I will hold tight to the day when I know I will be reunited with my baby and be able to celebrate his birth and homecoming with him.

Well two years Max... you have not spent a day apart from us with us not feeling your absence. You often on occasion bring a smile to my face and tears because of the enormous love I feel for you. Your brother I believe resembles you so much granted he is a lil heavy weight. I know he will be so proud to talk about you someday. We are proud to call you are son and Eli will be happy to call you his brother. This time of the year your stalking goes up your ornament goes on the tree and we remember a part of our life that still is very much alive in our hearts. I love you and my prayer today is even though life and death here separate us I hope you feel the love my heart sends your way. love you, mom and dad


Tammy On the Go said...

I can never forget his face. I think of you all often. Your addres is written on a 3x5 card and sits at the back of my address book and I think...I should write her. See how she is doing. But I don't because I know you don't know me. But I never forget Max. Whenever your blog goes to the top of the list I get excited to know that you have updated. I love the new blog. I love the photos of brothers at the top. I wrote this poem for you when I heard of Max and Isaac D...

How does a mom, who has never known hurt,
Never felt your heart ache and never known your loss,
How do I reach out, where do we meet. How do we connect?

The Cross…

I cannot understand your pain, or even go there briefly.
I have never lost a child or even felt your grief.

My life has been a series of blessings, not deserving more than you.
I am realizing things may change and there is nothing for me to do.

The roads of our life were carved in Grace, before the world was made.
And the life we have, though sometimes hard, none of us would trade.

The portion that was given to me, is vapor in my hand.
Quickly life is falling through, now more than ever, I understand.

Often I have sat with others and could do no more than weep.
Hoping we could wrap our minds around a pain much too great to keep.

I know you do not know me, but we have been one place together.
The Throne of God is our common ground, and will be now and forever.

We could have easily met at the Cross, you would have seemed familiar.
For it’s at that spot we are the same and our burdens are much lighter.

I see my daughter in the face of your precious little baby.
Knowing all well I will get to see her grow into a sweet young lady.

So I do not presume to feel the full grasp of the pain that you will suffer.
But I do have your heart, for I am too a mother.

Wishing I could take it away, will not move this mountain.
But taking you to the throne, I leave you at a fountain.

That precious fountain filled with blood, spills not just for sins forgiven
But gives the grace that you will need, until you meet him in Heaven.

I also leave you with a Father, who truly knows your pain.
Though willingly he gave His Son, His hurt is just the same.

This mother prays for you today, tomorrow and years to come.
Until you get to worship the Father,
Who is taking care of your son.

In Christ,
Tammy Pulsifer

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Maxson. He will never be forgotten.

Amy J. RN

Princess J said...

I hear ya on everything you said. Remembering Maxson in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

What an amazing and beautiful poem to celebrate Max, now in his new role as a big brother, and celebrate God.
Merry Christmas & Happy Birthday Max
love, Cassidy

Carla said...

Love your new header. Happy Birthday in Heaven Max. Hugs to you mama. Our next children bring us joy and purpose but never replace the child that was lost. The years going by make it a little easier but at the same time it is hard to leave them so far behind in that moment we held them last. You're boys are both beautiful little blessings.