I can't believe it has been a year. I was telling Dustin tonight that days after Max passed I was almost wishing for time to pass to be a year ahead and then thinking the pain would be less. Sadly, that is not the way it is right now. Tonight at 8:30 my grandma joined Maxson in Heaven she couldn't wait I guess to spend his homecoming with him. I am happy for my grandma she lived a full life and I know was excited to be reunited with her husband and so many others that went before her. She was a wonderful woman, a woman that I am sure was told well done my good and faithful servant! That is why the only sadness I feel is the absence of her in days to come. There is small part of me that is jealous of her, I mean getting to be with Max tomorrow in all!
Dustin and I plan to finally watch his video in its entirety tomorrow, we plan on eating this beautiful cake we had made for his birthday, and we plan on trying our hardest to remember how great it was through all the pain we feel. Maxson changed our lives, and how badly do I want to just think on what this day was supposed to look like, but I know that is not what I should do. Maxson Linwood lived his few hours in my arms but he also lived many hours right under my heart, and for that I will do my best tomorrow to celebrate cause his life is so so special to us and I know to you.
Now, I thank you for all your responses to my previous post, it really helped to be able to pray for others out there in way that felt so true every night I laid my head down, and also it was comforting to learn about you. I know I have some questions to answer from the post so here we go:
Are you working?
Yes, I am serving...still. I am also working for a SVP multimedia which is very rewarding and helping me to further my career in video and photography. I work anywhere from 15-30 hours a week for SVP and serve 8-15 hours a week. It all keeps me busy and that is a healthy place to be in.
How is the photography coming along?
It is going very well it has helped to have a new and exciting experience in my work and has allowed me to be able to find another creative outlet. svpmultimedia.com if you go there you will find a link to my very basic website at the time.
Last but not least my favorite picture of Maxson...
He was looking at me. Well I know a new born can't see far but the direction of his stare was toward Dust and I.
Again, I have been praying for you out there and thank you again for your prayers. I just want you to know I couldn't have gone through this year without the support of you all.
I hope heaven gives you a homecoming party better than a birthday party here. I hope you can feel my love and know my longing for you. Dustin and I love you and talk about how much we wish we could be there with you. You changed our lives and we only felt like we just grazed your life. We hope to be able to tell your brother or sister about you someday and we look forward to the day when we hold you again.
Love you so so much,
Mommy & Daddy