Waiting

After just touching on that we lost our kids in the last post I thought I better explain.

We found out a week before Thanksgiving that relatives of the children had hired a court inspector to locate the children when they found that the mother was without them. And although no one is taking them out of the orphanage we were advised to not continue to court. If we continued we would likely lose in court anyway.

I was totally surprised being new and all to the international adoption world.

So now what.

Well if it would have happened any later we would have been out some money but now our money just gets transferred to a new adoption. However, we are in the DRC, Africa now, that is where our money is tied up. Which in some way I am grateful that I am locked in and don't have to make that decision.

This took me a while to post. For one I am really tired of being the bearer of bad news. Two, I am tired of people saying "I'm sorry". I have been on my knees crying out for God to lead me in the direction HE desires. And that is exactly why I am here.

Waiting.

Trying to make sense of the loss I can only be straight with one thing...God is sovereign. So...I will say for whatever reason we are here, waiting.

Antonio and Regina did push me down the path...actually taking the long and difficult steps to start the adoption process. I can be thankful for their sweet faces in my life for the simple fact that we started this road. Who knows maybe without them I would still be doing nothing out of fear of the unknown.

We have decided to wait for a baby. Could be tomorrow or months from now when we receive word. We are the only ones on the list with our agency from this country. We have no preference of boy or girl or twins. I find myself often praying for our child that I know God already knows. Very similar to a pregnancy, when before that 20 week ultra sound you are so in the dark. And for us is a time to truly rely on God for our strength and place to rest all our fears, doubts, and anxieties.

We were very sad about losing two children that we felt belonged in our family. I try to remind myself that they must have family that cares...it's tough to do.

We will continue to pray and support them in different ways. And who knows maybe we will meet them someday. I know they will never be forgotten from our hearts!