10.14.2008

Now 30 weeks!



Isn't he cute...he looks comfortable and to me he looks completely normal and healthy! Those hands are still by his face but at least they weren't covering his whole face. 

30 weeks now, 10 weeks since we found out the horrible news of Max having t18 and 10 weeks until his due date... with time passing so quickly the fear of losing him is becoming so much more real everyday. The hard choices and planning for him are coming to a front; when we have to actually make those decisions about his life and passing.

I feel him moving so often I can now see him moving, which is pretty neat! Medically now we are going in once a week to monitor Max. To make sure that he is not in distress and is continuing to grow. So far the last two weeks he scored a 10 out of 10...this news is so great but at the same time it makes me realize how fragile his life is. With Trisomy 18 it is not uncommon for them to stop growing after 27 weeks or to go into distress... so we are living now week to week with the hope to make it to his birth date and meet him and God willing bring him home. I know he is a fighter and I know we can make it with continued prayer and faith. The day I get to introduce him to everyone who visits this site for Max is going to be a wonderful day! 

But now I am trying to make it day to day... if i don't stay in constant prayer and walk with God its easy to drop off and break down, trust me I have had many of those days. I am loving carrying Maxson under my heart but with the reality of his life being so short also looming constantly on my heart its a very painful, lonely difficult road.

 I do not regret our decision to carry Max full term, to end his life to me would have not been giving him the life that God intended and that he deserves! I feel more passionately than ever before about giving life and not ending it when it doesn't work out with our life or medically its not compatible with life; with which they deemed Max. And I think everyone who sees his pics above has to agree that Max's life and the words "not compatible with life" should NEVER be used together. 

Since when is that fair medically or not to use those words with human life, I use those words with things like computers, some programs are not compatible with Macs but to use that with human life... So when someone is so sick with a disease that it ends in death then we should say they are not compatible with life. Sorry for my rant against this, but this is what they told us about Max this is what the world summed up Max's life to be...incompatible... in most of the medical world they do not support our decision to carry Max full term. Thank God we have a doctor that does. So you see they angered me and broke my heart with those words; I have the heart of a Mother because Max is my son no matter what is said.

Love,


Trish

7 comments:

Tashia said...

Your son is such a blessing and looks so adorable in the ultrasound pics. I just love those 3D pictures. I cannot begin to understand the choices you are struggling with. I have 2 young children but was blessed with healthy children. I hope and pray that he continues to grow and do well in your womb, under your heart and that you will get time with him to know him. I hope you can take him home and introduce him to everyone.

Rachel Fafinski said...

Trish, Max is beautiful, and I loved your post. Miss you so much! Rachel

Katie said...

Praying for you, Dustin and baby
Max here in NC. Your son is absolutely beautiful!

Katie M.
Creedmoor, NC

Kenzie said...

Trish-

Hi sweet mama! I was led to your blog from a comment on mine and I am SO glad that I was. I am so sorry that you are having to walk this difficult road with your precious Maxson. I know that the diagnosis, coming to terms with everything, the fear of the unknown... it can all be so overwhelming. I am so impressed at how the Lord is working in your lives and constantly asking you to trust Him with everything. You made the most beautiful, trusting decision when you gave him every chance at life- life to grow and know the beautiful mama and daddy that love him so much.

You must be due just before/right at Christmas since I guess we're only a few weeks apart (due dates). You might know that we lost our baby Maddox in January of this year right after birth at 34 1/2 weeks due to T18. We love our precious boy so much, just as I know that you love your Max... I will be praying for you guys as you continue to walk this difficult journey. I will be praying that those around you will be so loving, helpful, encouraging and prayerful and will absolutely love you through each step. Just remember that God is always faithful to His promises.

Prayers to you both and to baby Max!

Love much,
Kenzie

Anonymous said...

Trish & Dustin~ I don't have even have to read your posts to know what you're going through...My husband and I just walked this path with our beautiful son. I will be thinking of you. You are welcome to e-mail me anytime: jessicaly21@comcast.net. Enjoy every one of those little kicks! Best, Jessica

Anonymous said...

Trish, we are so proud of you for making the right decisions and having a heart like Chirst. Max is so precious and adorable...holding his little hand by his face. He is so content and peaceful being in his mommy's tummy. I know he can feel the love everyone has for him, and is thankful for his life being put in God's hands. You are a wonderful mom and one we look up to. Your testimony will be great for many, and forever be a place in history.

Dustin, we are so proud of you too. Providing comfort and protection for your family through your prayers and trust in our Lord.

We continue to hold your family up in our prayers, and we know that God has you all in his hands.

Love,
Andrew & Laurie

Julie said...

Having a doctor who supports your decision will help you so much! I am so thankful that you have this!