I miss Max today... more than other days, I don't think so. My arms and heart feel so heavy when I think about his sweet face. I have been trying to think on the fact that if Max was here today he would be struggling with health problems in some way. I can't tell you this eases the fact he's not in my life but it does give some sort of peace that he is healed and not in pain.
I want my son to know I feel so privileged to have carried his life, to have kissed his face, to have looked into his eyes. Dust and I want to share the love we have for him with little brothers and sisters. We want to find a way to keep spreading the love he has brought into this world. We want his face to be etched into our memory along with the feeling of his skin. We want others, who may have to walk this road,to know that choosing to carry Maxson was a decision we would never take back. Not just because of our morals, the memories and all the moments we had the chance to experience with our son make the choice we made beyond worth it.
If you are reading this and recently had a grim prenatal diagnosis, please know you can contact us with any questions you may have. Know you are not alone and that the feelings of not being able to continue are normal and just part of the emotional journey you are on.
For everyone who has prayed, read, and thought about us I can't thank you enough. God had a bigger picture for Maxson's life than I would have ever imagined, after receiving the news he wouldn't be a child we would keep here I struggled with wanting my son's life to have purpose. You all have fulfilled that desire, I love hearing how Max's life has impacted others. The comments on this blog by people that are touched or changed by Maxson's life greatly encourage us in our sorrow. So, thank you thank you thank you! We love you all!
Max's mommy
9 comments:
I thought of you today, came across your address and hoped you were okay. you and Max are not forgotten.
Thinking of you! Max will never be forgotten. I never had the pleasure of meeting him but I think of him so very often and his sweet mom. :-)
Sending love and prayers!
Thinking of you guys so often and still praying...
I love it when you post pictures of Max. He is so precious!
~ Stacy
Max is beautiful and so is your spirit. Neither will be forgotten by those who have read your blog!
Praying for you as Mother's Day approaches!!!!
I think of you guys all the time. I am finding it difficult to find comfort lately...I, too, try to be peaceful in knowing there is no pain where our babies are. Max is very blessed that God picked you to be his mommy and Dust his daddy.
I enjoy when you put pictures of Max on your posts. Such a sweet little face.
Praying for you today.
You never have to worry about Max's life having meaning/purpose - he touched so many lives.. he brought so many moms (me included) closer to their babies and is a constant reminder of the precious gift we have been given.
Since finding your blog, I am forever changed.. truly.. you have lead me to so many other blogs (even if you don't know it) about children and families in need, and so I offer support and prayers where I can.. Max did all this.. and I still think of him often.. and hope he is playing with my babies in heaven.
Bless you.. and Max
Kerren
South Africa
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