Well the holiday weekend is almost over...it started off for me to be quite an emotional ride. Thanks so much for the comments and emails. I find it so comforting to hear from people. The beginning of Thanksgiving day was super difficult I had a difficult time giving thanks. I am a planner and I don't like when things don't go the way I planned, something I know I need to work on, obviously God knows that too! But I was so set on the 19th of December that the possible change in plans sent me spinning and it was, jeez...just a hole mess of emotions. Luckily and blessed that I am, my family came through and pulled me out of the doom and gloom. Then as the day progressed I began to let go of the despair and I rested in my blessings. Because I am blessed and thankful. I wouldn't trade Max's life for anything, even if his life may only grace me for a short time. I also wouldn't trade my family or husband or even my dog for any one else's. I thank God, as I clearly see his provision in my life. I do have so much to be thankful for...even though the road I am on now challenges me at times to count my blessings.
By the way I went in yesterday so we could monitor Max's heart rate, just so I could make sure he was fine, his heart rate was back up to a healthy range 120-150. I am still thanking God for that!
Dustin and I decided that our decision on delivering Max next Friday will be based on our appointment on Monday. If Max has not grown at all, or if his heart rate is not healthy we will discuss with our doctor about Friday. But if he has grown and his heart rate is well we will wait another week. I just pray for God's will in the situation. I will post on Monday and thank you for your continued prayers.
God bless,
Trish
8 comments:
Trish,
I remember dealing with these same worries and decisions just a short time ago. I am relieved that God made the decision easy on me and brought my baby into the world two months early. I don't know if I could have handled eight more weeks of 'what ifs.' My advice, having walked this road, is to listen to your doctors but then follow your hearts in these, and all, decisions. (I think this is what you two have been doing all along.) T18 is a condition of uncertainties- for you and the doctors. When my husband and I look back at our journey we never let ourselves say "Maybe we should have..." We say "We did what we felt was right for our son." We can't let ourselves second guess what our hearts tell us. I am praying for you guys.
Hi, I found your blog through Taylor's, and I wanted to let you know that you are in my prayers. May God give you the answers you need and the peace only He can give you at this time.
Christy
Praying for all of you!
Dear Trish,
I am so glad that your family came through and helped you through a tough weekend. Please continue to do your best in following your heart and be easy on yourself. This journey will continue to be frought with ups and downs. Enjoy every second of the ups... your precious Maxson's life and the lessons of unconditional, depthless love that he has already taught you. And when the downs hit, draw strength from any place you find support. You have the love, the faith, the strength and the just the family needed to make this the best, most precious journey for your family and for your Miracle Max.
I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers tomorrow as you hopefully learn more about your next steps on this difficult journey.
A warm hug,
Christena
Praying for you as you go for your appointment tomorrow, giving you clarity for the decisions you will be making. Keep trusting God and know that He holds little Maxson in His hand next to His heart. Peace that passes all understanding is what I am praying for you this week.
Laurie in Ca.
We are praying for you. I found you through Taylor and her through ..... well you get the idea. We Mommies that have lost our babies too soon can all be in the same club. One we truely want none else to be in but for myself anyway one that I cherish. Hold tight to Jesus and keep talking to little Max... he hears you. Try to cherish this time and let the decisions go to the drs. Soon you will meet your miracle. We can't wait to see his beautiful face.
Trish,
I have been following your blog for several weeks now but have yet to comment. You have such strong faith and even though you are feeling anxious, I know that you know, God has you all safe in His hands. Bless you all as you continue to walk in this amazing journey and thank you for inspiring me and stengthening my own faith.
Praying for you...you are doing this with no regrets and treasuring each moment you have with him. You will know in your heart what the right decision is for delivery. Keep loving Max and hold in tight to your husband.
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