This coming Saturday we will be celebrating Maxson's life at New Hope Church. The service will be at 11am with a lunch to follow. It has been such a heavy thought to go through with this day, one, it signifies another milestone of his passing, two I want it to be perfect, and three while I want to celebrate there is that part of me that deeply mourns the loss of my sweet son...with all that laid out, tonight I received the pictures back from the photographers (Gabriel and Carin Photography) they are just beautiful, more than I imagined them to be. I will add some every post and will share most of them on Saturday at Max's service. Receiving these pictures eased most all of the burden Saturday was feeling to be. Now I feel I am ready to share and celebrate his life with everyone! For cards please send to PO Box 230 Williston, ND 58802. In lieu of flowers please consider donating in Max's name to a organization on our side bar.
I never thought this would hurt so badly. I really thought by knowing his time would be short would ease the pain in it...No, not even a bit. The pain comes on in waves at times my chest aches so deeply, and I long for him so bad I feel ill. I feel peace at times and other times I feel such despair, I know I have to walk through this part and I know there's no designated finish line. I just pray that God continues to carry me. Without the feeling of peace that Max is in a better place plus that fact that we will be reunited, I just don't know how I would continue. As living right now even with that hope can be so painful. So please pray for Dust and me, all your prayers thus far have been felt.
I did not bring Maxson home, I may not ever know why that wasn't God's plan. I do know Maxson was struggling at the end and I told him it was okay to go be with Jesus. It would have been so much harder to bring him home and watch him struggle to breath like he was. Once I whispered that into Max's ear he seemed to let go, I saw it in his eyes. He stared into my eyes and went home in my arms. So, figuratively speaking I did bring him home, Jesus just met me and carried Max the rest of the way. Now my sweet Angel is in heaven with a wonderful Grandma and great-grandparents, plus a wonderful Aunt. I know they are all fighting over him!
Dustin has been my rock, my family has stuck by my side and lifted me up again and again, friend have been there in such special ways, and even people I don't know that well have been so kind, some bringing food. This food thing is just awesome cause it's difficult to cook in this state and I would hate that burden to be on my Mom as she is also grieving. I am going to just post a list sometime of all the wonderful things people have done for me and my family. God bless you and thank you.
I will leave you with some pics of the cutest baby boy ever!!!!
Forever in our hearts, we love you Angel!