Max's Celebration Service
Maxson Linwood Hagen, what a dignified, strong, and purposed name. I may be biased cause I named him, but his name to me means a lot. I always wanted a Max I dreamed of my son Max for years, Linwood is my fathers middle name coming from his grandfather's name. To see his name on all the cards and other mementos from his celebration just meant so much. I loved opening cards with his name spread across the envelope, I am going to miss seeing other people's writing of his name.
His service was beautiful. When I woke up yesterday I was feeling so hurt and sad. I thought the funeral was going to be so difficult, it was going to finalize his passing and that hurt. I planned and wanted it to be a celebration but yesterday morning it didn't feel that it would be for me.
It wasn't though, it was so perfect.
Waking up to an extreme blizzard had me asking God, why? Why God? Are you kidding, I wanted people to be able to come and for them to see God's beauty through Max's beauty. And the storm seemed like a big damper for anyone to turn out. Plus, with 30 below weather the burial was going to be cut short and that saddened me. Anyway, I was once again touched by God's divine plan, not mine. People made it, maybe not as many that would have, but I know there was some that were there because of the weather. Sports were canceled and peoples travel plans were canceled, so there were some people there that would not have attended had the blizzard not been here.
The burial was short but the people that came to stand with us in 30 below weather touched me. I didn't expect anyone besides my immediate family to come because of the bitter cold. But so many came, I felt bad for them as I thought I was going to freeze to death. But it was so touching they did.
I will post a video of his service later this week or link to you tube with it.
I felt so much peace and now I understand the closure that a funeral brings, that a person needs. Not that I have closed this chapter, that may never happen, but I felt a letting go, an ability to say goodbye Max, for awhile. Granted late last night all the pain started coming up again. But all day yesterday I felt so peaceful and I even felt happiness for the first time since Max's birth. Thank you all, because of you, I have been lifted up again and again. God's peace keeps finding me and Jesus is carrying me through...I feel it!! I felt Jesus at Max's celebration and I believe Max was there watching.
Tomorrow, I will also post some pics of Max's celebration service. I do want to leave you with a letter that my husband read at Max's celebration service from the both of us.
You were with us here for about 37 weeks and 1 day, in that short time you made more impact on this world than many make in a lifetime. Not only did your sweet time here on earth touch people around the world, it also changed your mom and I forever. We had a long talk the other night and realized how we will never be the same again. Not just because we will always long for you in our arms and desire heaven more now than ever; but because you taught us more about faith, hope, and love than either of us could have ever known without you.
I can’t believe how strong you are Max, I felt you kick in your mom’s tummy so many times, and then when you entered this world… you fought so hard. You have the heart of a champion son, and your mom’s strong will.
Because of exactly who you are, it humbles me to know I’m your Dad. What an honor Max, we are so proud.
Although we have felt the loss of a lifetime we would not trade the time we had with you for anything. I am confident that we will hold you again, it’s just the time that we have left here, that separates us from you. We look forward to that day Max.
We love you,
Mom and Dad